Blog | Monika Bassani Counselling | West Norwood

Open note pad | Monika Bassani Counselling, West Norwood SE27, London

BLOG

Short articles for interesting reading

Search

Healing from Narcissistic Fathers

Dec 28, 2020
2 min

Healing from Narcissistic Fathers

As young children we look up at our parents like the pillar of our community the wisdom and to gain knowledge from, we run to them for protection and nurturing, Fathers are by far and wide recognized in society as protectors, providers, mature, wise, stable, fun, affectionate, supporting cognitively and emotionally and this is the tool kit a narcissistic father will adopt only to gain his own daily supply. As children are seen as his property an extension to his projections

My Therapist Won't Tell Me What To Do!

Oct 4, 2020
2 min

My Therapist Won't Tell Me What To Do!

Since I became a a therapist I have had clients expected me to tell them "what to do", "what to think" if I had the "right answer" . As a therapist, I’m trained to understand people and help them sort out what they want to do, but I can’t make their life choices for them. I’m not a real-estate specialist, career counselor or, most important, I don't have a magic wand. So you ask your therapist: Should I do this? Should I do that? Since I am the therapist I am the one who know

The two C's: Compassionate Communication

Aug 29, 2020
1 min

The two C's: Compassionate Communication

We often make it difficult for our partners to know what we are looking for from them, to get our desires or requests met often we do not address them with disregard of their perspectives and vulnerabilities. In other words, we'll make it as hard as possible for our partners to do what we would like them to do. That feeling of Entitlement often brings elements of Demands, Resentment, Anger, Sarcasm to which none of those initiate any progress let alone facilitate any forms of

When Anxiety Is Taking The Toll

Aug 7, 2020
2 min

When Anxiety Is Taking The Toll

Those clients who experience anxiety hold a sensitive perception to awareness of their environment and other people, they also exposed to somatic reaction in the body such as migraines, insomnia, eczema, gastro enteral symptoms; these biological traits are all related to an unacknowledged capacity in the anxious person to perceive environmental influences. Emotional triggers flares out an anxious episode, this happens when the brain perceives a personal “threat” such as lack

That Feeling Called ANGER

Aug 7, 2020
1 min

That Feeling Called ANGER

What to do with repressed anger or rage? If you felt too controlled or were shamed, emotionally or mentally manipulated, shut down, criticized for expressing your true authentic self when you were a child, you may have a lot of repressed anger or rage. Even depression can be a sign of repressed power that shows up through rage and anger when your buttons are pushed or when something reminds you (triggers you) of your past trauma. If you are troubled with anger - the shot of m

The Highs and Lows of A Narcissist

Jul 1, 2020
2 min

The Highs and Lows of A Narcissist

Let me begin with a small description of healthy and not healthy Narcissism behaviour. The Healthy one is denominated by confidence, charisma and appreciation of your talents or attributes, all traits mostly encouraged by society and social networking to which lead a person to think themselves as superior to others. Then again you may ask: is the superior attitude a Narcissistic trait!?! Many confident out going individuals have a high level of healthy narcissism, they put th

The Three A's: Anger Assertiveness Aggression

May 1, 2020
2 min

The Three A's: Anger Assertiveness Aggression

I have previously written a #blog on Anger and Rage, and yet many studies and theories are still conduct on this particular and very powerful #emotion. As far as these all three behaviours are express in social contest and interpersonal one there are also frequently and unhelpfully clumped together, particularly deemed to be so when the individual in cause is a girl or a woman. Let's no dare! Furthermore, however, all three are related to the word NO, a declarative, unapologe

Time to Be Selfish

Feb 5, 2020
1 min

Time to Be Selfish

When you are taking up a colleague workload, when you are responding to everyone else needs, when you keep smiling and validate everyone else demands...its not going to end up well! How about your own needs? There is no need to appease to confirm to yourself that you are meeting their standards, by appealing to their attention it won't solve that lingering sense of low self worth....it will just keep you pushing you into that spiralling of negative thinking, self criticisms a

Feeling Burnt Out

Feb 2, 2020
2 min

Feeling Burnt Out

Several reasons for feeling burnt out usually are in relation to work load and family life, the addition of a newborn, the bereaving of a loved one, loss of employment where there is prolonged stress, it leads to burnout. Sometimes individuals may think the feeling of stress is due to a difficult relationship or any other pressures in life. An emotional burnt out occurs when the roots of the problems are stemming from the dynamics within a dysfunctional family where the indiv

Narcissism and Attachment Theories

Jan 21, 2020
2 min

Narcissism and Attachment Theories

I talk about attachment styles often in my blogs, attachment being the initial rapport we establish as infants with our main career, those very roots that will lay the path of our future personal relations, behaviours, choices and how we relate to others. During the first two years, how the parents or caregivers respond to their infants, particularly during times of distress, establishes the types of patterns of attachment their children form. These patterns will go on to gui

Trauma and Memory

Nov 12, 2019
2 min

Trauma and Memory

Traumatic experience such as loss, bereavement, abuse, existential trauma, whereby a life threatening experience beyond our control, such as an operation, violent attack or accident has caused us physical pain and suffering. When we experience bonding trauma, whereby we were unable to develop a secure attachment to our caregivers. Parental trauma is passed and felt through the generations, also known as intergenerational trauma. In order to protect ourselves from that kind of

To Be My Wedded Husband / Wife

Sep 8, 2019
2 min

To Be My Wedded Husband / Wife

The wedding vows on that special day, the flowers, the guests, the champagne flowing, the kids running, the cake cutting and those photos taken to immortalise a very special moment THE day when your life will change for better and for worse...but are you ready for it?! You have now spent several years together you shared the holidays, she met your family, he met your friends, you have finally moved together! Started to arrange your toothbrushes in the same holder on the sink