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Avoidant Attachment in the Relationship

Dec 9, 2020
2 min

Avoidant Attachment in the Relationship

An intimate relationship potentially offers the basis for safety and containment for both partners, but when evokes feelings too powerful to be processed or toxic to be contained it becomes a painful paradox for those who are living these dynamics, this effect any insecure attached partners, particularly for those avoidant individuals who they are often in denial that there is a problem that needs to be addressed, this reflect on any couples who aspire monogamy from same sex

Somatisation and How It Shows on The Body

Sep 5, 2020
2 min

Somatisation and How It Shows on The Body

Somatisation I usually mention this term to my trauma clients, somatisation is an Ego defence - unconscious channeling of pain into the body - it is infact a tendency to experience and communicate distress in response to psychosocial stress. The association of feelings, patterns of behaviour and emotions (on a unconscious level) are linked to physical pain, in such cases is advisable to start journaling, by setting up a system of recording an internal concern, to describe the

The two C's: Compassionate Communication

Aug 29, 2020
1 min

The two C's: Compassionate Communication

We often make it difficult for our partners to know what we are looking for from them, to get our desires or requests met often we do not address them with disregard of their perspectives and vulnerabilities. In other words, we'll make it as hard as possible for our partners to do what we would like them to do. That feeling of Entitlement often brings elements of Demands, Resentment, Anger, Sarcasm to which none of those initiate any progress let alone facilitate any forms of

When Anxiety Is Taking The Toll

Aug 7, 2020
2 min

When Anxiety Is Taking The Toll

Those clients who experience anxiety hold a sensitive perception to awareness of their environment and other people, they also exposed to somatic reaction in the body such as migraines, insomnia, eczema, gastro enteral symptoms; these biological traits are all related to an unacknowledged capacity in the anxious person to perceive environmental influences. Emotional triggers flares out an anxious episode, this happens when the brain perceives a personal “threat” such as lack

That Feeling Called ANGER

Aug 7, 2020
1 min

That Feeling Called ANGER

What to do with repressed anger or rage? If you felt too controlled or were shamed, emotionally or mentally manipulated, shut down, criticized for expressing your true authentic self when you were a child, you may have a lot of repressed anger or rage. Even depression can be a sign of repressed power that shows up through rage and anger when your buttons are pushed or when something reminds you (triggers you) of your past trauma. If you are troubled with anger - the shot of m

The Three A's: Anger Assertiveness Aggression

May 1, 2020
2 min

The Three A's: Anger Assertiveness Aggression

I have previously written a #blog on Anger and Rage, and yet many studies and theories are still conduct on this particular and very powerful #emotion. As far as these all three behaviours are express in social contest and interpersonal one there are also frequently and unhelpfully clumped together, particularly deemed to be so when the individual in cause is a girl or a woman. Let's no dare! Furthermore, however, all three are related to the word NO, a declarative, unapologe

Working Couples in Lock Down

Apr 22, 2020
2 min

Working Couples in Lock Down

We’re around each other plenty more hours but together is a different story. Being in the same house does not necessarily constitute together, he key word here is together, which isn’t just proximity; it’s presence and focus. We are forced into the intimacy, not just with spouses, but also with kids or whoever else is in the home, the first step in making this situation work is to talk about it. By keeping your concerns as part of a bigger conversation, you're more likely to

Trauma and Memory

Nov 12, 2019
2 min

Trauma and Memory

Traumatic experience such as loss, bereavement, abuse, existential trauma, whereby a life threatening experience beyond our control, such as an operation, violent attack or accident has caused us physical pain and suffering. When we experience bonding trauma, whereby we were unable to develop a secure attachment to our caregivers. Parental trauma is passed and felt through the generations, also known as intergenerational trauma. In order to protect ourselves from that kind of

Emotions and Emotional Dependency in the Relationship

Oct 21, 2019
2 min

Emotions and Emotional Dependency in the Relationship

The way you feel about your relationship is they key to self esteem, it also estimate just how what is going on. When you are undergoing difficulties, you will find that you feel different, one may feel pessimist, or negative, resentful or threatened. Most couples are drawn to each other because, at first, they meet each other' s needs, a few years down the line most couples hit problems once they have been together for a substantial period of time, usually years and kids inc

A Therapist Confession

Sep 18, 2019
1 min

A Therapist Confession

Its not often that I as a therapist do disclose my inner self to my clients, although I believe in a beneficial aspect of self disclosure in the therapy room, I do hold tight on those ethical and professional boundaries of mine, however, there have been times when I just let it go...! I have found my self in session charged highly by an emotional whirlpool, I have been able to contain, to protect and to hold the client while in their aspect of their journey, but at times I fo

What Happens in Therapy

Aug 26, 2019
1 min

What Happens in Therapy

I have often been asked from my clients this question: " What do we do in therapy? How do we proceed from here?" The foundation of therapy is Trust, a mutual rapport between the client and the counsellor necessary for the process to take place and progress towards the desired outcomes and aims of the client. What do we do in therapy is to observe and reflect, while the client develops and evaluate a new authenticity.The client tolerate disappointments and failures with the su

Intimacy and Vulnerability in the Relationship

The Love Language of Touch

Jun 12, 2019
2 min

The Love Language of Touch

Human beings thrive on and need physical touch to connect with each other, within a cultural aspect, an intimate approach, a business acknowledgement. Different type of physical contact from a hand shake to a full embrace or several pecks on the cheek are types of acknowledgement that vary across the globe, the meaning of it and the symbolism behind it. In times of crisis we need to feel loved, almost instinctively we hug one another, the physical touch is a powerful communic

Feeling Vulnerable

Feb 21, 2019
2 min

Feeling Vulnerable

We often feel vulnerable in many occasions or situations, feeling vulnerable is to be able to open up to our own human fellow, partner, friend, colleagues. To connect with other people and find yourself to be unable to do so its a underlayed belief that you are not good enough, a thought that also carry shame and guilt. This is a pattern of thinking that undermines your ability to connect, to be compassionate, to feel emotions, to experience feelings and human relationships.

Boundaries and its Meaning

Feb 8, 2019
1 min

Boundaries and its Meaning

Boundaries! It sounds something like those neighboring altercations! It is infact a system of self preservation, how to keep ourselves safe from impunity, abuse and fundamental interfering of our own privacy, self worth and overall individuality, ah and lets not to forget our inner needs!! Most importantly of all, our personal needs when not met or are interjected with, it feels very much like a violation of our whole being! Building those boundaries is an important step to t

Is Your Relationship Abusive?

Jan 7, 2019
2 min

Is Your Relationship Abusive?

Various definitions of an abusive relationship also called domestic violence are widely available to us on the internet, however, when you find yourself sharing a relationship with the person you thought he / she was going to be your soulmate only to realize their behavior is controlling, coercive, when they stopping you from seeing your friends and family, when they embarrass you while attending a social event, when their mood suddenly changes from being lovely, attentive, a

What is the Vagus Nerve?

Nov 6, 2018
2 min

What is the Vagus Nerve?

The origins of our coping mechanisms when we’re stressed (and why we can blame our parents). You always hear people talking about how stress is the cause of their health and emotional problems. Yet, I’m going to ask you to consider for a moment that it isn’t the stress per se that we should blame. What if were to tell you that the way in which your very own personal BIOLOGY is wired to respond to stress (threat, danger) how this happens is dependent on how you learned about r

The State of Affairs

Aug 14, 2018
3 min

The State of Affairs

Human nature and its rules, expectations, and morals templates...its cheating on your partner or spouse an inhuman behavior after all? Our society is strongly stating that is NOT! But let us take a closer look to this harrowing, and yet predominant hot of the press reality. Our prehistoric ancestors soon discovered sex with or without love, however contemporary cultures share a link between Love and Sex. Let us start from the very beginning such as at the time of our birth wh

What is Anger?

Aug 4, 2018
2 min

What is Anger?

Anger: that engulfing sensation raising from your stomach all the way up to your chest , it feels like a bubbling hot lava reaching upwards to the volcano crate only to be ending into a primal scream, a torrent of words sometimes hurtful, colorfully depicted with sarcasm, followed by an aggressive body language. Often Anger makes your eyes swelling with tears rolling down heavily on your cheeks, and the more you trying to wipe them away the more those rivulets of droplets kee

The Loss of Intimacy in the Relationship

Jun 27, 2018
2 min

The Loss of Intimacy in the Relationship

What love means? The idealized romantic scenario of the perfect marriage is fundamentally what we all aiming for, that kind of relationship where both partners communicate well, never argue, and rarely fight it doesn't equates to how difficult can become when those struggles crop up, and how to cope with those. A difference in cultural backgrounds may also cause difficulties when you trying to run your rapport on a different direction from your partner view. You want a relati