Somatisation I usually mention this term to my trauma clients, somatisation is an Ego defence - unconscious channeling of pain into the body - it is a tendency to experience and communicate distress in response to psychosocial stress. The association of feelings, patterns of behaviour and emotions (on an unconscious level) are linked to physical pain, in such cases is advisable to start journaling, by setting up a system of recording an internal concern, to describe the sensa

Traumatic experience such as loss, bereavement, abuse, existential trauma, whereby a life threatening experience beyond our control, such as an operation, violent attack or accident has caused us physical pain and suffering. When we experience bonding trauma, whereby we were unable to develop a secure attachment to our caregivers. Parental trauma is passed and felt through the generations, also known as intergenerational trauma. In order to protect ourselves from that kind of

The way you feel about your relationship is they key to self esteem, it also estimate just how what is going on. When you are undergoing difficulties, you will find that you feel different, one may feel pessimist, or negative, resentful or threatened. Most couples are drawn to each other because, at first, they meet each other' s needs, a few years down the line most couples hit problems once they have been together for a substantial period of time, usually years and kids inc

It's not often that I as a therapist do disclose my inner self to my clients, although I believe in a beneficial aspect of self-disclosure in the therapy room, I do hold tight on those ethical and professional boundaries of mine, however, there have been times when I just let it go...! I have found myself in session charged highly by an emotional whirlpool, I have been able to contain, to protect and to hold the client while in their aspect of their journey, but at times I fo

I have often been asked from my clients this question: " What do we do in therapy? How do we proceed from here?" The foundation of therapy is Trust, a mutual rapport between the client and the counsellor necessary for the process to take place and progress towards the desired outcomes and aims of the client. What do we do in therapy is to observe and reflect, while the client develops and evaluate a new authenticity. The client tolerates disappointments and failures with the

Intimacy and Vulnerability

Human beings thrive on and need physical touch to connect with each other, within a cultural aspect, an intimate approach, a business acknowledgement. Different type of physical contact from a handshake to a full embrace or several pecks on the cheek are types of acknowledgements that vary across the globe, the meaning of it and the symbolism behind it. In times of crisis, we need to feel loved, instinctively we hug one another, the physical touch is a powerful communicator o

We often feel vulnerable on many occasions or situations, feeling vulnerable is to be able to open to our own human fellow, partner, friend, colleagues. To connect with other people and find yourself to be unable to do so it's a underlay belief that you are not good enough, a thought that also carry shame and guilt. This is a pattern of thinking that undermines your ability to connect, to be compassionate, to feel emotions, to experience feelings and human relationships. I of

Boundaries! It sounds something like those neighboring altercations! It is a system of self-preservation, how to keep ourselves safe from impunity, abuse and fundamental interfering of our own privacy, self-worth, and overall individuality, ah and let's not to forget our inner needs!! Most importantly of all, our personal needs when not met or are interjected with, it feels very much like a violation of our whole being! Building those boundaries is a key step to take within o

Various definitions of an abusive relationship also called domestic violence are widely available to us on the internet, however, when you find yourself sharing a relationship with the person you thought he / she was going to be your soulmate only to realize their behavior is controlling, coercive, when they stopping you from seeing your friends and family, when they embarrass you while attending a social event, when their mood suddenly changes from being lovely, attentive, a

The origins of our coping mechanisms when we’re stressed (and why we can blame our parents). You always hear people talking about how stress is the cause of their health and emotional problems. Yet, I’m going to ask you to consider for a moment that it isn’t the stress per se that we should blame. What if were to tell you that the way in which your very own personal BIOLOGY is wired to respond to stress (threat, danger) how this happens is dependent on how you learned about r

Human nature and its rules, expectations, and morals templates...its cheating on your partner or spouse an inhuman behavior? Our society is strongly stating that is NOT! But let us take a closer look to this harrowing, and yet predominant hot of the press reality. Our prehistoric ancestors soon discovered sex with or without love, however contemporary cultures share a link between Love and Sex. Let us start from the very beginning such as at the time of our birth when we must

Anger: that engulfing sensation raising from your stomach all the way up to your chest, it feels like a bubbling hot lava reaching upwards to the volcano crate only to be ending into a primal scream, a torrent of words sometimes hurtful, colorfully depicted with sarcasm, followed by an aggressive body language. Often Anger makes your eyes swelling with tears rolling down heavily on your cheeks, and the more you trying to wipe them away the more those rivulets of droplets keep

What love means? The idealized romantic scenario of the perfect marriage is fundamentally what we all are aiming for, that kind of relationship where both partners communicate well, never argue, and rarely fight it doesn't equate to how difficult can become when those struggles crop up, and how to cope with those. A difference in cultural backgrounds may also cause difficulties when you trying to run your rapport on a different direction from your partner view. You want a rel

Critics are those people who make a living out of being assertively judgmental on art, food, or cinema productions. But what about when we find deep down a critical self?! How do we then react to that inner voice telling us how wrong we are, bashing our hopes and expectations in harshness. We all host an Inner Critical Self, this helps us to wade through the challenges of life, to manage our thoughts, and to offer us useful prospective. So far it all sounds good! Now imagine

The definition of counselling is offered in terms of " the opportunity to talk to a trained Counsellor about your stress, anxiety or depression". In my experience as a trained Counsellor with my clients is the fundamental trust the client needs to establish with their therapist. The relationship is my client and their issues, whichever this is an individual counselling or couple therapy. I work with the client presenting issue, I establish a rapport and contract my client wit

We all have interpersonal relationships, it brings people together and offer the possibility of sharing experiences, develop personal interactions. When we do encounter a Narcissistic at first, we are made feel like THE most important person on hearth! The Narcissistic ability to seduce us, to shower us with compliments, and to charm us it is at the very core of this planned abusive, and extremely controlling behavior. Before we realize how dangerous this connection has becom

The patriarchal gender nurtured ( if not imposed) conduct from childhood has contributed to a culture of "machismo". So terribly wrong, harmful and damaging to those male family members, they have grown up repressing their emotions, feelings, thoughts, anger, and TEARS. How to expel that anger? How to express those emotions? Inevitably it all manifest in violence, aggression, rowdy behavior widely accepted if not regarded as role masculinity that men are expected to fulfill.

It takes courage to enter a journey into couple counselling as it is an admission to a lurking "trouble in paradise". When both partners are attending couple therapy is important to establish the readiness of everyone, therapy is most successful when both partners investing in the process, the challenge arise when the readiness and willingness to invest in the future relationship is required. Successful couple counselling requires a considerable amount of effort from the the

In couple therapy the touching down with each partner it establishes the role of the therapist as being in control, and at the same time makes each partner feel they are each given a hearing, their problems are emotionally and practically understood and there is not any hostility towards the therapist. The therapist may have to re instruct the interaction and re direct frequently, to clarify and to focus the attention, to orient each partner to their own needs. The focus of t