Updated: Jul 31, 2022
In couple therapy the touching down with each partner it establishes the role of the therapist as being in control, and at the same time makes each partner feel they are each given a hearing, their problems are emotionally and practically understood and there is not any hostility towards the therapist. The therapist may have to re instruct the interaction and re direct frequently, to clarify and to focus the attention, to orient each partner to their own needs.
The focus of therapy is upon needs, emotional interactions between partners, attachments insecurities and longings. Attachments concerns are particularly important within the marital dialogue as these are shown regarding insecurities, disconnection, separateness, and longing.
Emotions is seen as an adaptive response that provides in a person's behavior security, survival and fulfillment of needs. The therapist is to encourage mutual empathy through communication of feelings, to assist the couple to develop a level of emotional interaction and fluidity which meets their joint needs to fulfill, as closely as possible, their requirements for a satisfying relationship.
An emphatic attunement is the constant attempt by the therapist to connect with each partner on a personal level. Empathy is an ability to inhabit each client's world for a moment, it reduces anxiety and allows for a more complete engagement by both partners and therapist.
Acceptance is the non-judgmental stance an essential tool in the creation of a powerful therapy alliance, it maintains the view of the therapists in the positive belief in people ability to change and progress, to enable the complex cycle of interactions in which both partners participate, to evolve to negotiate, and to enable couples to work together to remove the problem as one relationship rather than low on both sides.