Your Own Critical Self
Critics are those people who make a living out of being assertively judgmental on art, food or cinema productions. But what about when we find deep down a critical self?! How do we then react to that inner voice telling us how wrong we are, bashing our hopes and expectations in harshness. We all host an Inner Critical Self, this help us to wade through the challenges of life, to manage our thoughts, and to offer us useful prospective. So far it all sounds good!
Now imagine you are doing a work presentation, suddenly you realized that your meeting will be attended by that very influential SEO. During your talks you suddenly feel thirsty but having forgotten your water bottle you are now feeling uncomfortable with the idea that your voice may not be reaching the expected tone. By the end of the meeting your instant thought will be on the line of: "I really messed up this time!" "I have not given my best", "I am sure I will get the call from my boss" "I am a failure"! and so on....This series of negative thoughts coupled up with comparing yourself to your colleagues, it leaves you feeling even more dissatisfied by your own performance. A sense of perfectionism added to the high set of standards too high for us to reach it leads to feeling shame, depressed, and anxiety will kick in just to top it all. Inevitably you will be setting into a vortex of negative thoughts but how to break the cycle?
Let's start with making a list of the qualities you have V the negative thoughts, for example: "I cannot allow myself to take a break, I am not productive enough!" Now take a look at your working week, write down all the tasks that you have accomplished within those dead lines. Set the overlook of your self under a different lens, allow to focus on the experiences you had as a learning platform from where to build up on, to make positive changes, to improve the outcomes of your aims.
Make a list of your strengths, your skills, and your own personal abilities and focus your attention onto it. Read them out out loud to yourself, hear your voice calling each one of them, clearly with emphases to enhance their importance. Pay attention to the feeling of satisfaction that springs from the sound of your own words. Own it, make it yours, after all you are the maker of, you deserve it.
Monika Bassani offers counselling in West Norwood South East London.