• Monika Bassani

Men from Mars Women from Venus

Updated: Mar 5, 2019

Remember that book? it made its breakthrough several years ago with this eye catching title and a compelling reading, it has indeed introduced its readers to the insightful new world of how to understand women and men differences!

We are indeed very different in many aspects not only the obvious physical appearance, but notoriously emotionally and psychologically. Neuroscience studies into the developmental stages of the human brain is rather fascinating, it offers us the understanding of how the brain function and reacts to different stimulus as well as to the learning in early childhood, how we store memories, and develop language and thinking skills.

Now bring all those learning into our brain, the male one and the female one, although our nervous system is wired in the same way, the thinking, reacting, emotions, language spoken and unspoken, emotional behaviors, and emotional intelligence varies largely and significantly very differently! Environmental and structural development has designed men and women to be at opposite sides, lets for a moment going back to millions of years ago when the human population was cohabiting in groups, housed in caves where everyday life was rather basic and mostly a truly hardship!

Men and women were naturally assumed their own "roles" men being the hunters, the women to rear the children and to group up with other women, and carry out their allocated tasks and duties for the benefit of the community. In my couple work I often come across these differences mainly within the communication shared (or not) between them: the female partner complaining to the their male counterpart how they are not listening to them, or making time to, and the male partner often looking baffled by such an observation.

Men are not very good conversationalists, this shows in the use of the left hemisphere of their brain whereby only three tones of speech are used, women intend to operate on a larger scale up to 5 tones of speech. This explain why men use a compartmentalized language where emotions and information are stored, women instead have a need to talk about their own problem, this type of communication is used to discharge those emotions, to make friends and to maintain relationships - this after all was their main role back in those Stone Age times, men are the warriors, the hunters, the protectors, thus they need peace and quite to concentrate on their own task ahead!

Although we are from Mars and Venus lets celebrate our diversity by combine them in a mutual aspect, a cohesion of natural, biological, instinctive,

and nurtured behaviors to enrich, to support, and to celebrate the fabric of our relationship, after all two different magnets attract each other.

#communication #relationships #couplecounselling #relationshipsconflicts


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Counsellor in West Norwood London, Counsellor in London

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