Updated: Feb 2
We are told that parenting is not an easy job. The unconditional love we feel for our children is ingrained in our own beings and yet, those children grown within a toxic and dysfunctional environment learn almost immediately in their early years of development how to fend for themselves, to walk on egg shells, they become people pleasers, dismiss their own inner feelings, hardly meet their own needs.
Children of Narcissistic mothers experience their mother's lack of empathy, will deny feelings to herself and shift the blame onto others, rather than own her own responsibility for her actions. They are highly critical of their daughters, never accepting them for who they are. Daughters of Narcissistic mothers will always face a constant battle to win the love, approval, and affection of their own parent only to be faced with the realization and the feeling that is never going to be any results in pleasing her. Those typical dynamics of mother daughter associated with Narcissistic maternal trait leave a trail of profound psychological scars in their offspring.
Parenting is nurturing, yet you may feel crashed and often doubtful about the thought of bringing up a child, as you may follow your mother footsteps. Do not allow any prejudice stopping you to ask for help, if you have experienced a mental health issue, or you have been effected by it during your childhood years within your family environment take actions for yourself, meet your needs, explore those possibility to take the first stride onto the road of recovery, understanding and forgiving. Parenting is a mutual teaching and learning, a journey of discovery to take together between your inner self
and your child.
Monika Bassani offers counselling in West Norwood South East London.