What is Anger?
Updated: Mar 5, 2019
Anger: that engulfing sensation raising from your stomach all the way up to your chest , it feels like a bubbling hot lava reaching upwards to the volcano crate only to be ending into a primal scream, a torrent of words sometimes hurtful, colorfully depicted with sarcasm, followed by an aggressive body language. Often Anger makes your eyes swelling with tears rolling down heavily on your cheeks, and the more you trying to wipe them away the more those rivulets of droplets keep streaming out.
Anger is a secondary emotion, it hardly feels like it (!) but infact is the carrier of an "hidden" cargo just like a huge iceberg of which you can only see the tip, but what is beneath the surface are a multitude of feelings and emotions trapped almost froze in that subconscious of yours, pushed away deep down, repressed often to the point that you are unable to recognize any of them let alone express them vocally and constructively.
When your needs are not being met it provokes you to feel afraid, detached, anxious, confused, reluctant, alone, disrespected, rejected, neglected, depressed, sulking, and many more. When someone behaves in a manner of wrongdoing Anger is the instinctive explosive reaction, the Fight or Flight, or the Freeze and Appease. Behaviors / feelings likes being in denial, feeling shocked, bored, and ignored they all belong to the Freeze phase, whereby being shy, averting your gaze, being apologetic, hesitating to speak, saying "yes" when you mean "no", all contributes to the Appease phase.
The emissary for processing emotions in the here and now, in a respectful manner coherently expressed and constructively released, unable you to build a kind interaction between two people, the importance to build an emphatic understanding increase compassion as the brain release oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin the cuddle chemicals, that connects with others and help socializing.
But its not so dooming and looming! Anger has its beneficial aspects too, such as signalling unmet needs, it drives us out of fear, its essential for the individual cycle of grief, it encompass an
outward moving energy that bring us positive changes and promotes intellectual, spiritual, psychical, and emotional connection.
Monika Bassani offers counselling in West Norwood South East London.