We often feel vulnerable in many occasions or situations, feeling vulnerable is to be able to open up to our own human fellow, partner, friend, colleagues. To connect with other people and find yourself to be unable to do so its a underlayed belief that you are not good enough, a thought that also carry shame and guilt. This is a pattern of thinking that undermines your ability to connect, to be compassionate, to feel emotions, to experience feelings and human relationships.
I often say to my clients that vulnerability is not a weakness, on the contrary its a strength! At first when I proffered these words I get this kinda of look that says " how can that be, surely?!" Let me explain it here: to be vulnerable is to be courageous, to be able to to talk about your inner self, to expose your whole heart, to have the compassion to be kind to yourself first and then to be compassionate to others. We cannot practice compassion to the people around us if we cannot treat ourselves kindly, thus is necessary whereby we establish a connection, build the trust necessary for sharing communication, understanding, love, emotions, good times, bad times, constructive criticisms, tenderness and emotional support. To name a few.
Vulnerability is necessary to allow the need to say " I love you", the willingness to do something risky, where there are not guarantees to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out; vulnerability does not allow to control and predict, it allows us to be authentic.
The roots of vulnerability are Shame and Guilt, the courage to show vulnerability is to give oneself the capacity to feel, to be creative, to experience joy, a sense of belonging and love.
I wish to ask you here what is Vulnerability to you?
Now that you know what is to feel vulnerable I want you to go and try it on yourself first.
You are courageous!
Monika Bassani Counselling in SE London