When Infidelity takes Hold of Your Relationship
Updated: Jul 31, 2022
In my practice I work with many stages of infidelity with couples when they both decide to work on the recovery of their relationship it appears to be on the aftermath of a betrayal. When a partner strays out of the relationship or marriage it leaves a trail of shuttered emotions, trauma, broken trust, blame, critical comments, state of anxiety, deep anger, and highly charged feelings.
To rebuild the foundations of their relationship is adding bricks to a wall of distrust from the injured partner who has now built a fortress around themselves, to safeguard their fragile inner being. Often the truth is not entirely spoken adding to the already existing sense of exposure and hurtful feelings of the other partner, lacking an honest communication triggers assumptions, and unnecessary pain to the whole relationship.
Although there are distinct types of infidelity, researchers have broadened the definition of infidelity to include sexual infidelity (sexual exchange with no romantic involvement), romantic infidelity (romantic exchanges with no sexual involvement), sexual and romantic involvement.
The pain caused by this behaviour has a ripple effect often devastating, whichever is due to marital dissatisfaction or genetic imprint infidelity is a worldwide phenomenon. Furthermore, when defensiveness, counterattack, avoidance, or blame, it sends a message to the hurt partners that the relationship is still in danger. It tells the involved partner isn’t committed to working toward resolution. These messages damage the chances of recovery.
To talk truthfully and honestly - although it may sound cruel - it is conducive in the rebuilding the lost trust, it supports the healing process to restores your relationship back to its origin, to reinforce those loose boundaries, assert both of your needs and expectations.
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