• Monika Bassani

Narcissism the Buzz Word

Updated: May 5, 2019

Public perception of what is Narcissism now days is flying openly across the media, the internet and dinner parties, however, what makes a Narcissist to be called one? Or even have you ever being addressed with "you must be a Narcissist!" Public awareness of self absorption and ego tripping is the synonym of Narcissism, and quite rightly to be on the receiving end of such an accusation leaves you feeling doubting yourself, or at least reacting in defensiveness.

But what does ever warrant to be a Narcissist or at least to show tendencies of Narcissism? Fundamentally an individual with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder shows a profound lack of empathy, lacks the ability to be accountable for their actions and being self reflective, whereby emotional intelligence is another missing component of their personality treats.

To be on the spectrum of Narcissism or to show a complete and full diagnosis of it one must be showing a mastering in manipulation, by using people like pawns and commodities to fulfil their own needs. A Narcissist use coerciveness, lies and backstabbing, they have a sense of grandiosity, they are purely vindictive, they have a love for drama at any occasion given should their expectations not to be met, an arrogant behaviour, they use emotional abuse as well as mental - gaslighting, physical threats, and show antisocial behaviour. A Narcissist always deserves forgiveness, they NEVER do anything wrong, they are incapable of compromise, they often obsess about thoughts of power, success, and wealth.

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist it opens a new level of "romantic" experience, there are of course some clues and red flags that one overlooks, it is not our human nature to turn away from something that feels and looks amazing, like real love is it? And there is the beginning of LOVE BOMBING, they snuggle up to your emotions and mimic them to create that image of connection, they are charming and intoxicating, once they have seduced you by creating a perfect love story they are under every fabric of your being, but lets not forget a Narcissist doesn't know Love, not a clue what it feels like it, however, interestingly so they are able to mimic it really well, only to secure their supply!

And then of course we have Narcissistic Parents, the most toxic relationships on hearth! As a child's self esteem undermined, their independence grows, and with it their need to believe their parents are there to protect and provide. Not matter how toxic your parents might be, you still have a need to deify them, even when you realise that your mother was wrong to beat you, you may still believe she was justified. Intellectual understanding is not enough to convince your emotional state that you were NOT responsible. On this very topic I have written a blog under Harmful Parents, do take a look at it.

Now that is what makes a Narcissist.


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