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  • Monika Bassani

New Era Relationships

Updated: Aug 22

Another well discussed topic nowadays across social media and the world of psychology is: What Men and women want from a relationship? The million dollars question! The advent of the internet and its ready approach to meeting your prospective partner it has become a very popular hit (no pun intended!) with men and women across the globe of any age, gender, and creed, however, the common denominator here is the personal self-fulfilment, whichever in a sexual manner or with the complete wholeness of being.


Relationships have turned into self-service commodity, the initial encounter on the online dating site is encapsulated in those punch lines and selfies: Who do I present myself to? What do I look for? What am I wanting? Pictures of female showing low cleavages and those puffed-up manly chests it many equals to a selling pitch! It all is the implications of a change of culture amongst online users, the Screen Culture. In the last 20 yrs the emotional contract within the couple of dynamics has changed in the shaping of how relationships now working, the emotional and financial aspect is part of this behavioural shift.


Human beings need emotional recognition, validation of their own self being, to be intimately relate to each other. Relationships entail a desire to be seen, to feel safe in the other partner sphere of attachment, to be loved and to create oneself within the rapport, enabling the connection to become a discovery for both parties involved. The capacity to establish a bond while holding on to one's subjectivity, respecting each other.


The romanticised ideology to find the other half it implies gendering - same sex, binar, gender fluid, while each partner will bring in their own generational and cultural expectations, identification, the gender component is still very present in the current society. From early years girls are brought up to provide for those emotional needs of others, whereby boys are taught to hide their sense of dependency, their inner needs, as it seems too feminine to show vulnerability. I drafted an article on this #BoysDontCry


The capacity to be correlate while holding on to one's subjectivity and respecting each other is the goal in friendship, love relationship, family relationship and the aim of the therapeutic relationship, too. Not being sure how to experience intimacy, the sex relation is dropped, discarded. The sexual relationship is disregarded when it becomes too intense, too close, too emotional, where feelings are felt.


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