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  • Monika Bassani

Other People's Behaviour is NOT your Responsibility

You can only be re responsible for your words, actions, reactions, attitude, and behavioral patterns you display when interacting with other people, equally you are NOT responsible for others’ behavior, as you have no control over it. Since you are not responsible for their demeanour there are no excuses for your actions. Statements like “If you weren’t like that, I wouldn’t respond this way,” implying why you are not the one in the wrong, should be nowhere near your vocabulary, although the way you respond is not something you should hold others accountable for.


Most people are convinced that is the other person needs fixing in order to begave the way they want them to. So, with this in mind are you willing to work on yourself, while acquiring the awareness that by stopping to blaming others for your reactions, which damages your relationship with the people in your life; however, if you feel to work on yourself and see changes in others focus on the triggers:


What quality others possess drives you crazy? Everyone has things that grind their gears. Answering those questions will help you recognize your personal triggers and understand why certain things others do or say annoy the hell out of you.


Ask yourself how do feel the effect in such a negative way. What makes you feel irritated when someone doesn’t share your views? Why is difficult to accept that they simply have a different perspective?


Focus on your NEEDS, for example if the person whose behavior triggers you someone you care for ask yourself what is your goal? Do oyu want them to feel bad about themselves or to help them and your relationship to develop further? Define your personal aspirations. Instead of fixating on always being right, focus on the things you wish to gain from this connection and how you want it to evolve.


At times you make mistakes, it happens. Acknowledging the error and apologizing for the hurt caused by your behaviour is an important focus for sustaining healthy dynamics in your relationship. It sheds a light on the comprehension that you are both humans, and you both know how it feels to be hurt by someone you appreciate.

To avoid that, all you need to take into consideration is that most people suffer through life.


We all have our struggles to cope with, our demons to fight, and issues to face, but united we can be stronger, showing compassion for one another and take our OWN responsibility for.



Monika Bassani Counselling | Counselling in West Norwood,

SE27, London | Counselling for anxiety, depression, trauma,

bereavement and more

Mob: 07506 790316 | mbassanicounselling@protonmail.com | www.monikabassanicounselling.com


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