The Highs and Lows of A Narcissist
Updated: Jan 18
Let me begin with a small description of healthy and not healthy Narcissism behaviour.
The Healthy one is denominated by confidence, charisma and appreciation of your talents or attributes, all traits mostly encouraged by society and social networking to which lead a person to think themselves as superior to others. Then again you may ask: is the superior attitude a Narcissistic trait!?! Many confident out going individuals have a high level of healthy narcissism, they put themselves forward, take the challenge rather than shrink in the face of attention, manipulation and lack of emphatic approach.
Unhealthy Narcissism traits are shown through excessive attention seeking, superiority, delusion, criticism, gaslighting, manipulation, a sense of grandiosity which they all fall under the need of keeping a supply. The positive feeling gained from approval can lead to seeking these experiences to a degree of inflating their ego, gain approval for being caring, intelligent, attractive, successful. As these supplies have an effect on the release of dopamine in the brain, the Narcissist also may experience a crash, when the dopamine levels fall, these can result in rapid changes of moods, feelings of depression, irritability, anxiety, also feelings of shame and guilt may appear, however, to keep oneself inflated a state of denial is entered, partners of a Narcissist who are subjected to these helter skelter are more likely to be feeling rejected, criticised, and questioning their own actions.
The constant seeking of supply place the Narcissistic in a continuous hunting mode, any perceived criticism or mistake can trigger them into spiralling back to a low level of self esteem, to this a Narcissistic defence response is to refuse taking responsibilities for their behaviour, words and actions, they may attack in response to those threats and by remaining defensive they may interact between staying afloat and functional or breaking down completely.
Boundaries her are the answer, strong defined boundaries not letting that window of emotions be left ajar, not even a fissure as they will wedge it open, once again. The cycle will begin one more time.
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