top of page
  • Writer's pictureMonika Bassani

The Loss of Sexual Intimacy in the Relationship

Updated: Jul 31, 2022

Long term relationships starting with a whirling romance, fun and attraction for each other, adventurous trips around the world, love is blooming. Often the relationship takes a turn for the making of a the next generation and the whole rapport takes a new dynamic, often entails a profound change in each partner behaviour to, and with each other.

The advent of a family place a huge pressure on the axis of the relationship, turning its spin on a different direction to what the original start was, at times offering a glimpse of "normality" often with no return. We all know how social media is a platform that allow the portrait of happy family to do the rounds amongst friends and the wider audience, however, behind closed doors the reality cannot be different. The lack of sexual desire this, in particular, is a major hidden problem for women.

Low sexual desire is not restricted to gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity,or any other demographic. Non - binary individuals can struggle with lowered sexual desire, it can cause strain in both heterosexual and gay relationships.

Researches found fundamental reasons for the loss of sex drive and sexual intimacy, to be caused by physical illness, physical changes and medical conditions. For example antidepressant can cause a decrease of sexual drive, the chronic lack of sleep or sleep deprivation, while caring for young children or ageing parents are frequent reasons, fatigue from surgery may also play a role in low sex drive. Women reaching the Menopause are also effected as this may alter their desire for sex, the drop of hormone oestrogen levels can cause dry vaginal tissue and painful or uncomfortable sex.

Emotions play a large part in how partners feel about sex. Stress at work, at home, can delete off the menu sexual drive. We live in a society where the bombarding of images of THE perfect body place a phenomenal pressure on women, while trying to keep up with demands one can feel inadequate. The same goes for those struggling with post-traumatic stress, anxiety, or depression

Strong emotions like resentment, loneliness, sadness, frustration or loss brings to an end the desire to engage with their partner, intimately, let alone sexually leading to distraction, loneliness, disconnection and in some cases unfaithfulness, and yes! men and women cheats equally, even if statistically men are higher on the scale the reasons for straining away from a relationship / marriage its hardly, if not only about sex, you can read in my blog When Infidelity Takes Hold of Your Relationship.

If you are experiencing a loss of sexual drive and intimacy with your partner do not accept the "new normal", no matter how long it's been occurring. Address any relationship issues with your partner be open and honest with each other. Seek a relationship counsellor if you and your partner feel unable to explore, communicate, explore and problem - solve what is going on between you.

Counselling for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, Narcissistic Abuse,

Bereavement and more

Mob: 07506 790316 |

bottom of page