• Monika Bassani

The Three A's: Anger Assertiveness Aggression

Updated: Apr 15

I have previously written a #blog on Anger and Rage, and yet many studies and theories are still conduct on this particular and very powerful #emotion. As far as these all three behaviours are express in social contest and interpersonal one there are also frequently and unhelpfully clumped together, particularly deemed to be so when the individual in cause is a girl or a woman. Let's no dare! Furthermore, however, all three are related to the word NO, a declarative, unapologetic declaration of one own opinion and needs, is not a word those women are thought to embrace. Allow me to clarify the following:

Assertiveness is an act of stating a position with confidence, it is a form of direct, clear and honest communication, and effective response to every day stressors, although being assertive means different meaning to different folks for some to be able to express the word NO is a major step.

Aggression is a more direct confrontational behaviour, less civilised, but to many a degree a respectful one. One can be both assertive and aggressive in the meantime without being angry at all, conversely, to be angry but not aggressive either assertive, or of course depending on the context it has its meaning, its place. As my ancestors would remind me the root of word aggressive it stems from the Latin word aggredi meaning "to go forward".

Anger is the dark matter that permeates daily experiences, it includes strong negative emotions and unhappiness, furthermore, an inability to express anger healthy lead to a component of both depression and anxiety, self silencing is recognised to be a central aspect of depression.

Studies shows that assertiveness and aggression like anger displayed by women can be conflicting, because they suggest a woman' slack of interest in relenting, and women are expected to do just so. Professional women in a place of work that make demands on their rights to be met acquiesce more quickly and often than their male counterparts. Curiously enough these three words, so powerful and yet very defining upon the gender of the speaker are entangled in one meaning, the word Passionate.

Women particularly are described being passionate, whether they are angry or not, for speaking firmly and with determination, assertiveness, self confidence. While anger is an emotion generated by feeling passionate about an issue or a topic, being passionate encases the stereotype of an angry black woman, for example, who shows an attitude or an ugly humourless white woman, too, as well as sidestepping negative associating feelings with the word "angry".

Show your discomfort when you feel it, say NO! stop pleasing people. Your anger and assertiveness will challenge some people, those social conventions, Xmas do's and corporate meetings, take in your stride. Be Brave, Be Assertive, Be Angry!

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