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What is Shame?

Updated: Nov 14, 2022

Shame is an emotion often deemed as a feeling, fundamentally is a fear of disconnection. We are psychologically, cognitively, spiritually and emotionally hard wired to connect with one another, on the basis of love, and belonging. Both love and belonging it gives purpose and meaning to our lives. When shame settles in it gives us the fear of disconnection, of something we have done wrong, that we have not lived up to it and we have failed the accomplishment, that makes us feel unworthy.

Unworthy of loving, belonging or connection:" I am not good enough".

Shame is:

  • Concealing to friends and family that I am in recovery

  • I am raging at my kids

  • I am infertile

  • Accessing Internet porn

  • Not being able to meet my partner needs

  • Afraid of my parents arguing

The fundamental drilling nowadays of social importance and acceptance widely spread across the social media, it is also reinforced by the chemistry in our brains and the pain the results form rejections and disconnection is proving to be very hurtful. In 2011 research funded by the National Institute of Mental Health on Drug Abuse has indicated that the physical pain, and the intense experiences of social rejections hurt in the same powerful way, as far as the brain is concerned. Neuroscience advances confirms that emotions can hurt and cause pain, those feelings, emotions, conscious, the environment and the individual cannot be separated.

Let's talk about Shame in the safety of the therapeutic room, counselling offers a safe space to explore emotions, feelings and to connect with ourselves and to others in a meaningful way.

Counselling for anxiety, depression, trauma, bereavement and more

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